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The Chaos Olympics

Everyday Events That Deserve Medals. 

Modern life is a relentless series of micro-challenges no one warned us about. Abs? Who needs 'em. You carried 12 grocery bags, unlocked your door with a pinky, and called it a normal Tuesday. That’s peak athleticism.

Welcome to the Chaos Olympics, where everyday heroes earn medals for surviving the absurd. Tally your score as you go, and let us know, how many Golds, Silvers, and Bronzes have you won this week?



The Chaos Olympics Score Sheet

1. Event: Untangling a chain that turned into a metal spaghetti monster

You just wanted to wear your cute necklace. Now it’s a 30-minute therapy session.

Medal: Silver

2. Event: Not opening messages so you won’t have to reply yet

Strategic avoidance is a skill. Especially when you're “active now.”

Medal: Silver

3. Event: Drinking water in bed without choking, spilling, or baptizing your pillow.

Hydration is self-care. But at what cost?

Medal: Gold

4. Event: Waving back at someone who wasn’t waving at you

Shout-out to our joint embarrassment. You took it like a champ.

Medal: Bronze

5. Event: Carrying 43 plastic bags of groceries in one trip and refusing help

You will rather dislocate a shoulder before you go back for a second trip.

Medal: Gold

6. Event: Surviving the “sorry, what did you say?” after the second ask

You nodded. You smiled. You have no idea what’s going on.

Medal: Silver

7. Event: Remembering the thing you were supposed to do... right after it stops mattering

That message. That form. That birthday.

Medal: Bronze (plus a participation sticker)


8. Event: Replying in your head and thinking you actually sent it

They ghosted you? No. You ghosted them by accident. Unknowingly.

Medal: Silver

9. Event: Successfully resisting the urge to Google a mild symptom

Congratulations. You did not convince yourself you have a rare incurable disease.

Medal: Gold

10. Event: Taking a phone call with 2% battery and pretending everything’s fine.

You’re trusting your phone not to betray you mid-sentence. You’re racing time. This is adrenaline sport.

Medal: Gold

11. Event: Peeling a boiled egg perfectly without it looking like it fought in a war

It’s either a smooth sphere of victory or a tragic protein crumble.

Medal: Silver

12. Event: Catching something mid-air before it hits the floor

The reflexes? Olympic. The disbelief after? Priceless.

Medal: Gold + crowd applause

13. Event: Remembering someone’s name mid-conversation without asking or panicking

Your brain flipped through 600 folders and finally hit the jackpot.

Medal: Silver


You made it. You’ve competed in the most chaotic games of all: everyday life. The medals might be imaginary, but the effort? Universally real.

So… how many medals did you earn? Let’s see who’s walking away with the ultimate bragging rights.

Name any other events that you think deserve to be on this list.






Comments

  1. Eniola loveMay 12, 2025 at 2:34 AM

    Carrying a whole of lots of kitchen utensils and wares used to cook in the kitchen then carrying it all the way to your room and you end up using the pinky finger to open the door.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Wellness CasebookMay 12, 2025 at 2:52 AM

    Top-tier stamina right there✨

    ReplyDelete

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